Who are you? I have the definitive answer.

#9 of the Top 10 Reasons I wrote ”Almost Reckless.”

Who are you? I have the definitive answer.

Just kidding. And if any one says they do, ignore them. Or hear them out, but their words are just data points, to be either considered or tossed as irrelevant.

I learned this the hard way.

It was the Summer of 2008, and InStyle Magazine was doing a profile on my home. The living room comprised of cold grey and white combinations, a dining room table from French designer Christian Liaigre, a mixture of mid-century modern pieces - a sofa from Paul McCobb, a chair from Eames. In the mix there were pieces from our time living in Asia, a Karl Springer lucite coffee table, and a ceiling fixture from a cool gallery in SoHo. It was a combination of pieces that were liveable, meaning they were meant for life and to be lived in. Yet there was still a sense of refinement and modernity to them. I suppose it was a bit chill, a bit modern and a bit classic. Creative yet Pragmatic.

But the magazine was just not going to have it. Back then, I was known as the bold colorful brand, I was prints, the tribe had spoken. They informed me a stylist will arrive at my house 2 hours in advance of the shoot, look out for the truck. Early morning the day of, a little man popped out of a semi truck that had backed in to my driveway. He flipped up the back - it was brimming with lamps, rugs, paintings, pillows - a team of extra hands began quickly moving the objects in to my house.

I knew this was done when someone is selling their house. It’s called staging. But what the fuck?

I told the stylist “this is supposed to be a profile on me, how I live.”

And he said “yes, it is. Now can you step aside, I need to unroll this Diane Von Furstenburg rug across your kitchen floor”. He then dramatically explained he had a migraine and could I just bring him a Klonopin. Ummmm….I asked if Excedrin would do.

I shit you not. Brightly printed pillows from Marimekko, Lamps and various ceramic pieces from Jonathan Adler, Diane’s giant rug and boldly colored artwork were placed throughout my home.

I asked the temperamental stylist why he was changing everything.

Him: “We need the space to look more like Tibi.”

Me: “But I am Tibi.”

Him: “Yes, we need it to look more like you. Can you make sure to change your clothes before we shoot?” (I was wearing black jeans, a grey button down)

Me: “Okay”.

The tribe had spoken, and I was listening. Thing is, I didn’t embrace it, I fought it - but it was a tug of war in my head and I hadn’t figured out how to put it on paper, make sense of it all, take action. Instead it just pissed me off, I’d bitch about it, and then I’d go back to giving them what “they” wanted. Years wasted. Financially they were good. Problem was, I wasn’t. Turns out I couldn’t just switch it on for Tibi and switch it off for me. This wasn’t just my brand, this was my life I was living, and not being myself put me in an anxious state.

What I figured out next was a game changer. Turns out when your visuals don’t match who you are on the inside it deeply matters. And once you figure this out, you start to insist that your life matches who you are on the inside too.

The book isn’t a biography, a retelling of my journey. I share real experiences that you’ll parallel into your own and most importantly, I give you steps for taking action. Anyone who’s in the process of figuring out their life, or anyone who’s thought they’ve figured it out but it’s just not hitting like you thought it would, will find this book incredibly useful. My opinion.

For shits and giggles, here’s my home in a profile on my new brand in B Magazine in Hong Kong 1999; side by side to the 2008 Instyle Magazine profile.

If you would like to preorder the book, I’d be super grateful. It turns out in the world of book sales it matters, deeply. Preorder Almost Reckless here. And if you preorder before March 3, you’ll receive the Almost Reckless tee.