Amy, this is exactly what drew me to you and to Tibi. Letting go of “flattering,” of the limits we’ve been taught around age, size, and all the “shoulds,” is such a freeing message. It goes beyond style, it’s about how we see and value ourselves.
Ageism especially shows up for women in the workplace. I still hear people say things like “my grandma/mom should be able to use it” to mean something should be easy, and it makes me cringe. The assumption is that once a woman is older, she’s less sharp, less capable, and even less entitled to wear what she loved ten years ago.
Which is why style matters so much here. Since by refusing to accept those limits in how we dress, we push back against the bigger story society tries to tell about women as they age.
And the about the converse of what your wrote. Since when did grandma become the pragmatist and grandchild the creative? It does a disservice to the 20-35 year olds assuming that they are brainless and don’t care about anything functional or smart. Right? Everyone loses when u view life through such a lens.
This is one of your very best posts. I hope you print it on your tissue. And make it a poster for a future book. True fashion wisdom. This is diving deeper even into what you have been teaching. ♥️
Dressing for myself at 62 is what drew me to you, Amy, and to Tibi and the Style Classes.
A marketing mind fuck convinces us that normal human differences, like age and body shape, require us to alter our skin or dress our bodies to look other than we personally prefer at various ages and sizes.
In contrast, dressing for myself on any day of the week is so much easier than dressing for someone else’s agenda.
Thanks for creating a community for these conversation that may on the surface be about clothes or style but it’s so much deeper than that. For me being creative and pragmatic has really cut out the noise so I can dress for me and the situation or hedge my bets in the possible way. I’m in my mid 50s and it’s because of these conversations that I don’t even think about age appropriateness. And yes the AJLT costumes have been disappointing.
Reminds me of another version of this issue when the negative “critique” in the byline was something like “why are adult women dressing like their teenagers?”— who cares? Maybe there is something about a pair of overalls that communicates what the wearer wants, at any age, and in a way that works for that person. Thanks for this thoughtful and important piece!
This was so perfect. Thank you for calling the "And Just Like That" costumes "costumes. I was remarking the other day that these clothes are not what people actually wear. Even New Yorkers. There was a scene they shot , I think at Bergdorf's and the extras the women in the background all looked church wearing black and flats.
Excellent point about AJLT, in both costume and script the characters don’t seem to know themselves which is honestly sad and hard to watch… this was a great read
AJLT made them into caricatures of themselves, especially through the clothes.
One scene on the street Miranda looked like a joke with some grandma looking get up with a belt under her boobs and Carrie was actually clutching a book in her hand so that she could somehow disguise, ruck-up the huge, out of proportion skirt she was forced to wear.
Great post! To feel like me, I still do “flattering.” 😊I can still do that with some creativity and pragmatism. Thanks for your insights and love owning your designs!
Love this post and the comments! I've always loved fashion, working my closet and feeling great in my clothes. Even when I was younger, those articles in every major fashion magazine about age appropriate attire always felt so deflating. Tibi speaks to me!
Thank you for such an enjoyable read! I appreciated how you framed style as both expressive and evolving. It made me wonder, do you think our clothes shape how we move through each chapter, or do they simply reflect where we find ourselves now?
Chicken and egg; right? On a daily basis, some days I awaken and dress for the future; other days I wake up and dress in reflection - so I suppose really that forward, reflect, move on is what we just do through life; and I think your clothing can’t help but reflect that - I think where it gets distorted is if you’ve thrown too much $$$ at trends in the closet your mind may get jumbled…
Amy, this is exactly what drew me to you and to Tibi. Letting go of “flattering,” of the limits we’ve been taught around age, size, and all the “shoulds,” is such a freeing message. It goes beyond style, it’s about how we see and value ourselves.
Ageism especially shows up for women in the workplace. I still hear people say things like “my grandma/mom should be able to use it” to mean something should be easy, and it makes me cringe. The assumption is that once a woman is older, she’s less sharp, less capable, and even less entitled to wear what she loved ten years ago.
Which is why style matters so much here. Since by refusing to accept those limits in how we dress, we push back against the bigger story society tries to tell about women as they age.
And the about the converse of what your wrote. Since when did grandma become the pragmatist and grandchild the creative? It does a disservice to the 20-35 year olds assuming that they are brainless and don’t care about anything functional or smart. Right? Everyone loses when u view life through such a lens.
!! Brilliant! I didn’t even think about it that way. People are people, irrespective of age.
i'm almost 68. Tibi has freed me to be me...My closet has never been more aligned to my authentic self. TY.
I’m 67 and feel the same way. I wear whatever I want, whenever I want and if that means I’m
turned out at the Piggly Wiggly and surrounded by tourists in beachwear or Lily Pulitzer—so be it!
I am 32 and I feel the same :)
This is one of your very best posts. I hope you print it on your tissue. And make it a poster for a future book. True fashion wisdom. This is diving deeper even into what you have been teaching. ♥️
Ahhh thank you for this!
Dressing for myself at 62 is what drew me to you, Amy, and to Tibi and the Style Classes.
A marketing mind fuck convinces us that normal human differences, like age and body shape, require us to alter our skin or dress our bodies to look other than we personally prefer at various ages and sizes.
In contrast, dressing for myself on any day of the week is so much easier than dressing for someone else’s agenda.
Holding a lighter up in agreement with you. We 80s girls need to stick together.
Agreed!
"it’s in the thrill of figuring out how all that lived life plays in to who we are today."
Thank you Amy. Your words and point of view are always so appreciated and I love this.
Thanks for creating a community for these conversation that may on the surface be about clothes or style but it’s so much deeper than that. For me being creative and pragmatic has really cut out the noise so I can dress for me and the situation or hedge my bets in the possible way. I’m in my mid 50s and it’s because of these conversations that I don’t even think about age appropriateness. And yes the AJLT costumes have been disappointing.
Reminds me of another version of this issue when the negative “critique” in the byline was something like “why are adult women dressing like their teenagers?”— who cares? Maybe there is something about a pair of overalls that communicates what the wearer wants, at any age, and in a way that works for that person. Thanks for this thoughtful and important piece!
This was so perfect. Thank you for calling the "And Just Like That" costumes "costumes. I was remarking the other day that these clothes are not what people actually wear. Even New Yorkers. There was a scene they shot , I think at Bergdorf's and the extras the women in the background all looked church wearing black and flats.
Excellent point about AJLT, in both costume and script the characters don’t seem to know themselves which is honestly sad and hard to watch… this was a great read
AJLT made them into caricatures of themselves, especially through the clothes.
One scene on the street Miranda looked like a joke with some grandma looking get up with a belt under her boobs and Carrie was actually clutching a book in her hand so that she could somehow disguise, ruck-up the huge, out of proportion skirt she was forced to wear.
WE ARE NOT THAT. We refuse to be that.
Great post! To feel like me, I still do “flattering.” 😊I can still do that with some creativity and pragmatism. Thanks for your insights and love owning your designs!
Love this post and the comments! I've always loved fashion, working my closet and feeling great in my clothes. Even when I was younger, those articles in every major fashion magazine about age appropriate attire always felt so deflating. Tibi speaks to me!
Agree - for me, AJLT is almost unwatchable. So loved SATC for the smart writing, interesting fashion and NYC cool. The updated version feels
dated and forced - sad. Your observations here are all on point! And how you wear the tie dye tuck jeans is 💯you (and they are in my cart). Thank you.
Loved this post and enjoyed your talk at McMullen. I bought the navy nylon blazer. You helped me style it. Thank you!
Your thoughts feel dropped from above Amy. Am an enormous fan of your brand, I own a capsule of your pieces, and am grateful for your thoughts here.
Thank you for such an enjoyable read! I appreciated how you framed style as both expressive and evolving. It made me wonder, do you think our clothes shape how we move through each chapter, or do they simply reflect where we find ourselves now?
Chicken and egg; right? On a daily basis, some days I awaken and dress for the future; other days I wake up and dress in reflection - so I suppose really that forward, reflect, move on is what we just do through life; and I think your clothing can’t help but reflect that - I think where it gets distorted is if you’ve thrown too much $$$ at trends in the closet your mind may get jumbled…