”Because I said so!” “When you’re the one paying the bills, you can decide!” “The day you get a job and work all day, you can make the decisions!” “Who made you the expert?” “Just because!”
These were all fighting words to me. They were never good enough, I wanted to know why. “Because I said so” was never good enough. I needed the why. Not because I’m stubborn, I’m also not overly nosy. Rather it’s that “rationale” has always made things sticky. It’s why I got a D in Algebra but an A in statistics. If I know that in a room, 10 people love the show VEEP, 5 didn’t, then there is a probability that 33.3% of the people have no sense of humor. That’s easier for me to understand than (a+b)=c[/a]. note: math nerds, don’t chime in here - I have no idea what I wrote, but you get the point.
But here’s another benefit of knowing the why, and it’s a BIG one. WHY gives you the knowledge of thinking. Note I didn’t say thinking for knowledge. Because the point of “knowing” isn’t to then wash our hands of it and move on, it’s to use it as a base to continually grow from, poke at, make decisions. And when you have knowledge, you have confidence. The two come hand in hand. Confidence not born from the conceit that you have it all figured out, but just the comfort that you know why you’ve made your choices and that if they change tomorrow, you’ll know why.
So let’s take a trend and break it down using this logic. The WSJ had a recent “trend” article: “Trashing New Clothes” The proof of the trend was laid out by interviewing key opinion makers in fashion on how they distress an item to make it appear worn/torn/lived in. But the closest thing that got to a “why” was a quote from Athena Hewett (of the skincare line Monastery) that if your trainers look to new it’s like showing up to that first day of school not knowing the rules yet.
Ok, we’re getting closer. At least one idea is presented here as the root of why we desire something. The avoidance of embarrassment, the desire to fit in. Here are other reasons that hit home, the WHYS:
Craving stability, things that last the test of time, proof of a time when quality mattered, when dupe was a bad word, when items weren’t demanded in 12 hours.
Comfort in the knowledge you made the right choice, that you loved what you bought so much that you wore it again and again. Smart no waste.
Assurance you know who you are - you didn’t get suckered in to someone else’s vision - evidenced by the test of time, long after the trend has come and gone.
So here, I show you the proof. Not just the outfits, but the WHY behind them. I’M ALSO SHARING LINKS - PLEASE KNOW I do not have any connection with the brands I’m linking to other than I just really like what they’re doing, I wear their things and I love you knowing about them.
So here’s what I’ve created around just one key item, the short.
When I want to feel interesting, through color depth and textures. It makes me feel a little more intellectual, without the pretense. Trend or no trend, just what I want. Now.
Crinkle navy top 2. A Celine bag 3. Comb Necklace 4. Gold sandal
When I want to feel smart by being able to be all work from 9-5 but then sitting at a bar with a friend and feeling like I’m ready for a Martini and not a discussion about the P&L.
When I’m traveling, and moving between meetings, and dinners, and lunches and I’m put together but nothing is meant to be overly formal. Creative and pragmatic is how I feel - lots of options and one short that can be worn over and over without feeling on repeat.
Look 1: 1. An ultra light buttondown says polish effortlessly, 2. A pony hair belt gives texture 3. The Celine bag and 4. The ostrich pump
Look 2: 1. A ring 3 tee 2. The best sunglasses I’ve ever put on 3. A Myriam Schaefer bag 4. These weird but simple sandals
Here I can manipulate the cardigan and make it in to a summer top - imagine if I was wearing cutt of denim or something overly designed out on the bottom - it would miss the mark. For me. The modernity of the shorts balance out the craftiness of how I’ve styled my knit. I use the short to dial that down a bit.
The cardigan wrapped to look like a top 2. An old giant Balenciaga bag that’s woven and huge and I’ve never seen for sale outside of Monaco (the smaller ones I see everywhere). 3. The Chloe jelly sandals from last year.
I love the dark brown because it’s the unexpected complement to baby blue; and it makes bright white quite sophisticated. White should be simple, but sometimes it can make a fit feel far more basic than you want. I don’t feel basic. I feel great.
Look 1: 1. A blue sweater thats robust but light 2. An old celine bag 3. My old loafers Look 1: a white bodysuit from Danskin 2: my hoops I live in - these are big 3. An old bag from The Row bought from my favorite store Max and 4. Animal print Shoes
And then I think about longevity - can I wear it when the weather is too stubborn to admit that it is spring? Can I wear it in early fall when I want to embrace the season but it’s still a bit hot out. Can I wear with things I have new, things I have old? Yes.
Look 1: 1. With a big sweater tone on tone 2. Over a crisp white shirt and 3. Long grey socks and sandals with a good weird welt that is feminine but modern and 5. My fave necklace from a silver stall in Cabo Mexico.
Look 2: 1. With my favorite wool plaid tibi shirt from last fall 2. With brogues that manage to be feminine and modern and tough all the same 3. Off set by this (sexy, yes) lariat.
So remember, always think about THE WHY. Because I said so. Just kidding.