A Bifurcated Closet Sucks, But a Bifurcated Life is Worse. I’ll Explain Further, Ok?

#4 of Top 10 Reasons why I wrote Almost Reckless

I’m going to share with you a story about Al Smith. Don’t know him? That’s ok, I didn’t either - he was the 42nd Governor of New York (1919). Stay with me here, you’ll get the connection. I find that messages sink in best with a story that shares not just the what but the why.

Years ago I began sermonizing that a bifurcated closet sucks. The initial premise was that anything less was a waste of good clothing. Why should that luxurious blazer be relegated to M-F? Or that sweatshirt, did it need to exist only on your couch zoning out on reruns of VEEP? I quickly realized that saving money was simply the happy financial outcome of this thought trail. Now remember, I also preach that we only have three ways to communicate who we are: through our words, our actions and our visuals. So if we are what we eat, we’re also what we wear. It doesn’t take an advanced degree to infer then that we often felt one way during working hours, versus the evenings, versus the weekends. There was a fractured through line, because inevitably in one of those moments, and possibly in all three, you didn’t feel like your self. When you learn to shop, cull your closet with intent, then the pieces that best represent you can follow you from a presentation to grocery aisle - all whilst feeling like yourself and fully appropriate in the moment you’re in. My book The Creative Pragmatist lays out a recipe for developing your own visual through line. The result? People felt more settled, not because they were smarter financially but because they’re outside matched their inside, no matter where they were or the time of day.

BUT NOW, after thousands of DM’s, intimate conversations with C-suiters or those simply hoping for a cubicle somewhere, those looking to actualize their dreams of being an entrepreneur, and two young adult sons trying to find their way, it’s apparent that so many aren’t just bifurcating their closet but their life as well. Getting through the motions of where they are now until they become who they’ll ultimately be. Now vs. later.

The problem, or the opportunity if I can reframe this, is “now” is happening to you and if you don’t suck out every bit of it, you’ll never get in to the flow and ease in to the later.

And this gets me to Al Smith.

He grew up in the tenements of New York’s lower east side in the late 1800s. He learned about people studying their behavior working at the Fulton Fish Market for $12 a week and he even tried out acting in an amateurs theatre circuit. He parlayed his knowledge of the everyday man and his oratorical skills to get ultimately get elected into the New York State Legislature. The PBS Documentary American Experience: New York tells the story far better than I will here- I really recommend watching. As the story goes, when he arrived in Albany, New York for duty, he was met with a cold reception by others in the legislature. He was ignored by senior members, continually passed over for assignments, and was bewildered by his new surroundings never making any speeches on the floor during his first term. I mean, after all, he was fully uneducated and lacking the experiences of his new peer group. Undeterred, he used this time to read every bill that passed through the chambers. Fellow assembly men began to realize that no matter what subject was brought forth, Al Smith knew something about it. He unwittingly gave himself a unique super power that the others lacked. He became their go to to discuss, intelligently, any subject that passed through the chamber. Can you imagine if instagram had been around back then? Or better yet, he had spent countless hours surfing LinkedIn for a mentor? He would never have taken stock and seized the moment he was in by doing what came naturally: to be observant and inquisitive. He would not have allowed himself to ultimately become the man he ultimately became.

I had a similar pivotal moment too. Of course I didn’t recognize it at the time, but allowing myself to be present, to let the process play out to build a career and ultimately a life - because they are one and the same - is something that everyday I count my blessings for.

Upon reflection, I realized that my years spent bagging groceries, waitressing, interning, and more were not “biding my time until I became what I would be”. My time was not bifurcated between the “now versus then”. These experiences made me the totality of who I am. It can seem almost reckless, to ease up and let life unfold. But the bigger risk is to believe that everything can be plotted out in a linear form. Because It’s a funny thing, life just tends to work out this ways, but only if you let it. If you’re told a story that it’s anything different, then recognize that’s just peoples way of selling you something. Social media and others have outperformed themselves telling you what they think you want to hear. Keep your blinders on to that noise and open them up to the life you’re living now. It’s your path to the future. I promise.

And to think, this reflection all started with recognizing that when I wore my navy blazer with my sweatpants in the vegetable aisle, I felt whole. Who knew?

If you want to preorder the book here, I’d greatly appreciate it. I’ve been told by very smart people that preorders are important, though I’m also a big believer in not believing everything you’re told. Do with that as you may.