3 things have had a profound impact on me. Why?

Especially when the obviousness of it is hardly obvious.

Three experiences have had an outsized impact on me this year - they’re nestled in my brain, I lean on them when I’m considering a decision, they creep in and serve as a foundation for my creative impulses. People often ask me if your gut can be learned or if it’s just something you’re born with. The irony doesn’t escape me that these conversations here on the Creative Pragmatist started years ago wrangling with the question if one is born with style.

I try and pay attention to what has wormed its way in to my head. Not necessarily to watch or read it again, or even to share it with others, but to understand why. Why did this stick when so much that’s thrown at me has all the grip potential of an eel? Is there a connection between them?

1. A tea room with no name

2. Tyler Hay’s workspace in Philadelphia

3. The Live’s Of Others (German drama, 2006)

1. The tea room. It has a name, but it’s not found on the door. It’s a member’s only space in Los Angeles, but please, any mental imageries evoked by combining members only + LA will NOT be accurate. My friend took me there mid-afternoon, we checked our phones/ipads behind the counter and took a seat in a small space occupied with books and a smattering of tables. Mozart (my stand in for a classical reference as I’m embarrassingly deficient here with my knowledge) plays as the owner comes and sits with us. He has brought a tray of tea leaves and he patiently and passionately takes us through all 12 (I think?) types of tea, their characteristics, and the intimate relationships he has with them. This convo bests any AI. We selected our teas, we were shown the way to pour, sip - not because it’s the proper way but because it’s rooted in the pragmatism of getting the best out of the taste and experience. We sat for 3 hours and talked. And didn’t talk. It was one of the most settling experiences I’ve had. Ever. WHY???

2. Tyler Hays - he’s the creative mastermind behind BBDW - explore their world when afterwards, please. What I’m able to put in words can’t convey the experience visiting Tyler’s space - but I’m going to try. For two hours I go to crawl in to the mind of a modern day, but hardly (I’ll explain) Leonardo DaVinci as I walked through a (30,000 square foot??) space that required much cajoling with an Uber driver to trust the process, that through these rusted gates and this mud drive there is a building that I’m looking for. I have no pictures to convince you that what I saw was real. Somehow being with Tyler, it not only felt off to pull out my phone and take pictures - it also didn’t occur to me to do so. How is that possible???? Somehow any second viewing my surroundings through a phone would rob me of the real life experience. Tyler took me slowly from area to area, where every piece isn’t just handcrafted, with techniques that would be seen in a Freemasonry documentary rather than live and present day, but every component is made there as well. But it doesn’t stop there, because the machinery to make the components is made there as well. Yep, he buys old machines and parts and reconstructs them- have you seen the movie Robots? Think that. Like every intense creative I’ve worked with, Tyler doesn’t make eye contact when talking - he’s staring into an upper right corner where he’s putting describing something he’s seeing- it’s an artist’s version of a teleprompter of sorts. Each room we passed through housed a different craft. Artists were splayed across canvasses in one, paint brushes in hand, silent focus. Another room smelled damp and earthy - the clay room where they were testing out a newly shaped concoction that was pumping out shapes made of the mud they’d extracted, literally, from their backyard. We ambled to another room housing giant looms that wove the textiles used for the furniture and the clothing and yet another room where limestone had been imported (seemingly the only thing not to have been made on the spot) where it was buffered with high intensity water spray. Old machinery used through out retooled and brought back to life by Tyler and team. Every bit of wall space throughout was covered in scribbles of thoughts and drawings that were seemingly deeply thought through- a visual documentation of what flows out of Tyler’s head. Here’s a quick Tyler brain view via screenshots from his insta:

This visit happened four months ago, yet it is crystal clear in my head. That’s shocking in that so few memories stay so clear in my mind. WHY???

3. The Live’s of Others. I watched with my husband, many of you know of him through my book, but the movie doesn’t require you watch it with an escapee of the tyranny of the former Eastern Bloc. The movie hits deep even if you didn’t personally experience the slow sucking of your soul that extinguished the very light out of people’s eyes. And that’s what hit so hard watching the film - how were the actors able to convey light? Three actors - one had no light and slowly and visibly it appeared, one had it so bright and it extinguished, and the other held his flame. There is no costume, makeup, or body movement for that. It literally appeared and disappeared - and made it abundantly clear what it means to be a great actor. I’ve seen great acting, but the impact was especially profound. WHY???

As a Creative Director, trends, what’s “happening” out there, are important to stay on top of. But as the Creative Director of a company that is independent and thereby tethered to your identity, trends aren’t gathered from selling reports, summaries of street style, or the algorithm pushed by my feed. I use “trends” as a euphemism to describe what has to be felt by me or the team, recognized, and then put in to words - it is the assurance that the thoughts here are our own. We build our own data this way, our own measuring stick for determining the right - or wrong - direction.

Codifying the three events above, I clarify- with urgency - that:

• Real life experiences are important - but they have to have meaning - putting the “real” in IRL. It’s not about showing up with those who share your age or your predilection for frozen yogurt. It’s about showing up with a similar mindset.

• Being present is paramount for sticky to happen. In my book Almost Reckless I talk about collecting your dots - the experiences that at the time may not register in their full importance or value, but at some point come together to build a picture, point the way. Putting the phone down, investing in the time with people, even the dedication to two hours of subtitles- makes you present. Present to learn, agree, disagree, talk. Every time I do this my mental health muscle gets strengthened. Growing up I always viewed muscle strength in the physical, but it’s so much more and more critical than ever.

• Anything achieved without hard work and passion holds no lasting place in my brain.

You may be registering right now why I find it so hard backstage to describe to a fashion editor the why behind a collection. Because this is the mood board, for the design team, for the marketing team. When you have clarity of words and communication, you get the team on the same page. These words inform our decisions and strengthen resolve to try new things - because half the battle to moving forward is just reassuring yourself you’re taking the right path - or in our case, that it’s our own path.

Funny thing, I started this substack on my ipad in my local coffee shop. The owner came to me nervously to let me know they don’t allow computers in the shop. I thanked her and pulled out my notebook and pen. Walk the walk, Amy.