Come with me down my most rabbit hole, I’m sitting here comfortably at the bottom.

I was recently asked: “Would you consider being my mentor?” I get asked that often, usually it’s a college age student. “I want to be someone’s mentor!” is often said to me by someone I’m interviewing or a young eager employee. And I get why. I mean, google “mentor” — who in the hell wouldn’t want one of these people in your life, and what a compliment to be thought of as one.

But the reality?

No one can bear this much responsibility. And even if they could, if they had the time coupled with the will and the skill, this is a set up for failure. One person could never fully offer this to another, you would ultimately always be disappointed. I wanted to dig on this idea further, so I called some friends who sit in c-suites at some positions, those that have arguably “made it.” And I asked if their companies have formal mentoring programs, if they've been mentors to others in a formal capacity, and who do they consider the mentors in their life?

The first two answers were yes. And then second one was far more complicated, because it wasn’t just an individual. And it wasn’t always an actual person. So, I think it’s important to reframe what a mentor is. Why? Because it helps set expectations, it keeps you looking in the right and often unexpected places, and importantly because it allows you to reflect and understand what you are seeking for yourself. And this is the magic combination, learning more about who you are, what you want to do in life, and building a blueprint that helps you get there.

First, let’s give a new visual to a mentor. I think instead of a whole being, it’s going to look more like a Lego piece. And of course, a Lego piece on its own doesn’t say anything, but together they build something - or at a minimum, get you on your way to creating something great. It’s a good exercise to go through, to think what Lego pieces you’ve collected. I’ll deconstruct mine here so I’m clear what I mean. I start first with either what I was seeking or what I found (because time sometimes reveals what we can’t see/articulate in the moment).

1. Principles. My parents, they’ve always lived by them, they were the undercurrent of everything they did and were happy about or maybe even regretted.

2. Empathy, kindness. My sister. Straight up she was always the better person here and I wanted to be more like her.

3. Clarity. My husband. He has a mental toughness about him and it’s saved us in many challenging business and home situations.

4. Possibility. My crazy Great Aunt Tantee. My Grandmother’s sister - she was an entrepreneur, never had kids, had tons of dogs.

5. Confidence. Mrs. Wright and Mrs. Jocoy - when other teachers saw me as an unmitigated disaster, they dug deeper.

6. Worth. Tom Ryder, he was President of my division at American Express. In a sea of Ivey leaguers speaking a language I’d never heard before - he was my beacon - LSU, Dad was postal worker, he is scrappy, large and in charge.

7. Possibility. Hong Kong - the people. An entrepreneurial spirit, it pulls you in.

8. Focus. The movie Nothing In Common. I had no idea advertising was even a thing - once I honed in on a career, my schooling direction fell in place.

9. Work Ethic - my colleagues. There are some that could Master Class this.

10. Tenacity. My boys. I’ve seen them face really big challenges and power through. If they can do it, I can do it.

11. Leadership. Former bosses at Ogilvy and American Express. They didn’t mince words, they explained the why and let me figure out the what. They had courage but humility at the same time.

12. Mindset. I read a lot of biographies, I admire people who are doing some really big things right now and who’ve powered through a lot and have held steadfast in a core set of principles that form a mindset that I share. When I start to doubt, I pull up their book/articles about them. Paula Wallace, the Founder and President of SCAD, Christopher Hitchens, Mary Wells Lawrence, Steve Jobs, Edith Wharton, Al Smith, Andre Agassi. They fuel me.

13. Perspective. My friends I’ve made in my DM’s over the last five years. Never saw that coming, but when I need to bounce an idea, see something through a different lens, they’re now on my speed dial.

There are a few others, of course. BUT I am not complete yet, and I’ve no idea where I will find the next parts that make my final whole.

But here’s an interesting thing of note - there’s not one mentor that I learned MY INDUSTRY from. Maybe that’s because even the industry you pursue, just like your life, is the sum of many parts that are ultimately up to you to put together. This is a helpful exercise to do because it lets you separate what you’re really seeking. Is it just some facts that may help you make a decision or power through a situation - like if you’re a young designer it may be: what should I be paying for this shirt? Have you ever been sued by this predatory lawyer? Is the sell through this Department store asking realistic? Did Saks pay you? Those aren’t mentors, but resources.

So try building your own Lego mentor. See what it tells you, for where you are now, and make sure when it’s speaking that you’re listening. Ok?

And to state what I think may be obvious, this Stack is in no way linked or affiliated with Lego. It’s just a super clear visual.

That sense of fearlessness we had when we were younger seemed hardwired. That almost reckless approach to making decisions that were right for you - unencumbered by expectations and bound by principles that just seemed obvious. Like: don’t do stuff that doesn’t make sense, don’t work with assholes, do or make only what you love and if you don’t love, it make it lovable.

Remember when you tackled life by doing things that just made sense pragmatically and inspired you creatively?

It’s not an accident that the gut gets dulled. Our responsibilities grow, we acquire more to lose, we gain knowledge and start to choke on an algorithm that presents so much certainty about the correct path forward. We begin to question our ability to know the next step, to inherently feel In our gut what is right or wrong. And even worse, we train ourselves to ignore it.

This conversation started in earnest about six years ago now in the closet. The literal closet. I asked people to define themselves in three adjectives. Those three words became a measuring stick for evaluating what was right, wrong, or fixable amongst their wardrobe. It helped narrow the focus for what to buy in the future and it ultimately helped serve to create a visual representation of who we are. Otherwise known as personal style.

The outcome wasn’t just looking good, tho that did happen. What really occurred was people couldn’t help but make logical leaps. When you know who you are, when you can assess a situation, and develop solutions - sometimes perfect sometimes passable - you start applying it to your everyday. When you recognize that you feel smart wearing clothes that convey depth and nuance, when you feel nothingness when everything is too perfect, you recognize the irony of chasing a peer group of people who share only the exact same opinions, or seeking a frictionless environment. Maybe, and in the book I argue pretty strongly, all this agreeableness, or concern of being disagreeable, ends up suppressing the very thing that makes you sharp and enables you chart a course that’s right for you.

Almost Reckless makes a case to trace back and understand who you are, codify your principles and use them as the guardrails to live your life. I’ll show you how I did it - the big leaps I made when I created Tibi, I take you through the years that are highly regrettable but so necessary in the bigger scheme of things to have lived through them, and how we set out on a path that is so uniquely our own. No consultants, industry experts or AI used here. Just our gut coupled with curiosity and a serious work ethic. And most importantly, the book gives you solid tools to help you take action and chart your own course.

Almost Reckless is available now at retailers throughout the U.S., the U.K and some select European locations. If you visit Amysmilovic.com you’ll get more info. I hope you love it, we will have some fun events throughout the year to discuss, and help get you on your way if that’s what you’re looking for. You can also check out The Almost Reckless Podcast on YouTube and Spotify where I have great discussions with varied entrepreneurs, creatives, and individuals who’ve done big things (according to their own measurement) and had guts lost and then found. There’s a common thread to them all - nothing in life is more unsettling than getting pulled off course because we’ve lost our internal compass. It’s what’s caused them to experience failure in life - if you deem failure as chasing a life that is, in the end, not the one you actually wanted.

Almost Reckless will help you find your gut, point your compass. Promise.

Just kidding. And if any one says they do, ignore them. Or hear them out, but their words are just data points, to be either considered or tossed as irrelevant.

I learned this the hard way.

It was the Summer of 2008, and InStyle Magazine was doing a profile on my home. The living room comprised of cold grey and white combinations, a dining room table from French designer Christian Liaigre, a mixture of mid-century modern pieces - a sofa from Paul McCobb, a chair from Eames. In the mix there were pieces from our time living in Asia, a Karl Springer lucite coffee table, and a ceiling fixture from a cool gallery in SoHo. It was a combination of pieces that were liveable, meaning they were meant for life and to be lived in. Yet there was still a sense of refinement and modernity to them. I suppose it was a bit chill, a bit modern and a bit classic. Creative yet Pragmatic.

But the magazine was just not going to have it. Back then, I was known as the bold colorful brand, I was prints, the tribe had spoken. They informed me a stylist will arrive at my house 2 hours in advance of the shoot, look out for the truck. Early morning the day of, a little man popped out of a semi truck that had backed in to my driveway. He flipped up the back - it was brimming with lamps, rugs, paintings, pillows - a team of extra hands began quickly moving the objects in to my house.

I knew this was done when someone is selling their house. It’s called staging. But what the fuck?

I told the stylist “this is supposed to be a profile on me, how I live.”

And he said “yes, it is. Now can you step aside, I need to unroll this Diane Von Furstenburg rug across your kitchen floor”. He then dramatically explained he had a migraine and could I just bring him a Klonopin. Ummmm….I asked if Excedrin would do.

I shit you not. Brightly printed pillows from Marimekko, Lamps and various ceramic pieces from Jonathan Adler, Diane’s giant rug and boldly colored artwork were placed throughout my home.

I asked the temperamental stylist why he was changing everything.

Him: “We need the space to look more like Tibi.”

Me: “But I am Tibi.”

Him: “Yes, we need it to look more like you. Can you make sure to change your clothes before we shoot?” (I was wearing black jeans, a grey button down)

Me: “Okay”.

The tribe had spoken, and I was listening. Thing is, I didn’t embrace it, I fought it - but it was a tug of war in my head and I hadn’t figured out how to put it on paper, make sense of it all, take action. Instead it just pissed me off, I’d bitch about it, and then I’d go back to giving them what “they” wanted. Years wasted. Financially they were good. Problem was, I wasn’t. Turns out I couldn’t just switch it on for Tibi and switch it off for me. This wasn’t just my brand, this was my life I was living, and not being myself put me in an anxious state.

What I figured out next was a game changer. Turns out when your visuals don’t match who you are on the inside it deeply matters. And once you figure this out, you start to insist that your life matches who you are on the inside too.

The book isn’t a biography, a retelling of my journey. I share real experiences that you’ll parallel into your own and most importantly, I give you steps for taking action. Anyone who’s in the process of figuring out their life, or anyone who’s thought they’ve figured it out but it’s just not hitting like you thought it would, will find this book incredibly useful. My opinion.

For shits and giggles, here’s my home in a profile on my new brand in B Magazine in Hong Kong 1999; side by side to the 2008 Instyle Magazine profile.

If you would like to preorder the book, I’d be super grateful. It turns out in the world of book sales it matters, deeply. Preorder Almost Reckless here. And if you preorder before March 3, you’ll receive the Almost Reckless tee.

Noun:// As a noun, it’s the centrifugal force that can keep our actions in step with your principles. But in order for this to happen, one must know their principles - and that often takes time. Those who have clarity, have engaged in the hard discourse required to drill down to those first principles that articulate what is deeply important to them, are often described as having “a well honed gut.” Know this: it’s not that they’ve the best batting averages in working off their instincts. Instead, they know that pursuing what “sits best with them” is the closest thing any of us will get to assurance we’ve chosen the right path.

Verb:// that action on intuition that something could be done in a better way or that there’s an opportunity to be seized.

I wrote Almost Reckless to demystify the gut. We all have it, but codifying it, convincing others to follow it, eludes many. And when you don’t work off the gut, you often find yourself rudderless either succumbing to the trends of the day, the algorithm, etc. And that feeling sucks. It wastes time and can leave you often feeling without purpose, discontent. I’ve done this hard work and I know it’s what’s allowed my company to thrive independently in an industry and business environment that actively works against self sufficiency. And it’s what’s given me contentment where I find it: in the knowledge that the act of following your gut is what yields the most assurance that everything will all work out. That is, if you define “all work out” as living a principled life. See?

Now to business, Almost Reckless launches March 3rd. If you preorder the book (prior to March 3), you’ll get the AR tee. If you HAVE ALREADY preordered the book, you still get the tee. At Amysmilovic.com you can preorder the book and you’ll find more deets on the tee - the best gift with purchase ever. I think you’ll love the book and that you’ll really like the tee. My opinion.

On my Almost Reckless podcast, I’ve interviewed a range of wildly successful entrepreneurs, executives, and artists. Now “wildly successful” can be subjective, right? And I certainly don’t mean it as framed solely through the lens of monetary rewards or industry recognition - though many I’ve interviewed have had both. Regardless of who’ve I’ve spoken with, there’s a through-line of three critical stages they’ve all been through. The sooner you know about these stages, the better it can help shape your mindset to take important and necessary risks - whether you yourself are an entrepreneur, starting out in your career, or someone contemplating “what to do next.”

If you are the type of person who craves to do something new, innovative and not follow the pack, this first stage is critical. If you are someone who is continually frustrated that you’re not as successful in your job as you hoped to be, this first stage is critical. It’s the proverbial starting block and if you don’t make it off the block, you can’t enter the race. In stage one, every successful individual I spoke with came to grips with recognizing the false guardrails that we put on ourselves, on our companies, on our ideas. I see it all the time in my DM’s, the employees I’ve had through the years - the staggering number of people who have great ideas or talent, but give up or live in a vortex of doubt because they’re seeking validation in all the wrong places.

Here’s something that may be counterintuitive - being incredibly honest with yourself, and the facts, can propel you forward to innovate and do something wholly individual, authentic and maybe even groundbreaking. What are you good at, great at, and suck at is hard to write down - especially because a lot of these realizations come with time.

Writing down the “suck ats” can quite frankly suck, because it feels like an admission of failure. And there in lies the opportunity - recognizing the difference between “failure” and “opportunity”. You know the saying “necessity is the mother of invention?” Well, the saying is true and easy to embrace because “necessity” is recognizable when it’s happening. But coming to reality about your skills, when it’s wrapped up in pride, hopes, peer expectations or comparisons, well… not so much. Some of the individuals I’ve interviewed inadvertently created entirely new industries, or new roles within their companies, by being brutally direct with themselves about their strengths and weaknesses and then proceeding with creativity and pragmatism.

To eventually get in a mindset of risk taking, doing things may seem reckless to anyone else but you, is a thrilling stage to be in. Stage 3. It’s a good place and once you’re there you’ll never settle for anything less. But you have to get through stage one first, and Almost Reckless will help you do just that.

You can preorder the book below. And I hope you do, not because I’ll then determine my own success or failure against your choice, but because I know you will love it.

USA order here

UK and Europe order here

Come with me down my most rabbit hole, I’m sitting here comfortably at the bottom.

I was recently asked: “Would you consider being my mentor?” I get asked that often, usually it’s a college age student. “I want to be someone’s mentor!” is often said to me by someone I’m interviewing or a young eager employee. And I get why. I mean, google “mentor” — who in the hell wouldn’t want one of these people in your life, and what a compliment to be thought of as one.

But the reality?

No one can bear this much responsibility. And even if they could, if they had the time coupled with the will and the skill, this is a set up for failure. One person could never fully offer this to another, you would ultimately always be disappointed. I wanted to dig on this idea further, so I called some friends who sit in c-suites at some positions, those that have arguably “made it.” And I asked if their companies have formal mentoring programs, if they've been mentors to others in a formal capacity, and who do they consider the mentors in their life?

The first two answers were yes. And then second one was far more complicated, because it wasn’t just an individual. And it wasn’t always an actual person. So, I think it’s important to reframe what a mentor is. Why? Because it helps set expectations, it keeps you looking in the right and often unexpected places, and importantly because it allows you to reflect and understand what you are seeking for yourself. And this is the magic combination, learning more about who you are, what you want to do in life, and building a blueprint that helps you get there.

First, let’s give a new visual to a mentor. I think instead of a hole being, it’s going to look more like a Lego piece. And of course, a Lego piece on its own doesn’t say anything, but together they build something - or at a minimum, get you on your way to creating something great. It’s a good exercise to go through, to think what Lego pieces you’ve collected. I’ll deconstruct mine here so I’m clear what I mean. I start first with either what I was seeking or what I found (because time sometimes reveals what we can’t see/articulate in the moment).

1. Principles. My parents, they’ve always lived by them, they were the undercurrent of everything they did and were happy about or maybe even regretted.

2. Empathy, kindness. My sister. Straight up she was always the better person here and I wanted to be more like her.

3. Clarity. My husband. He has a mental toughness about him and it’s saved us in many challenging business and home situations.

4. Possibility. My crazy Great Aunt Tantee. My Grandmother’s sister - she was an entrepreneur, never had kids, had tons of dogs.

5. Confidence. Mrs. Wright and Mrs. Jocoy - when other teachers saw me as an unmitigated disaster, they dug deeper.

6. Worth. Tom Ryder, he was President of my division at American Express. In a sea of Ivey leaguers speaking a language I’d never heard before - he was my beacon - LSU, Dad was postal worker, he is scrappy, large and in charge.

7. Possibility. Hong Kong - the people. An entrepreneurial spirit, it pulls you in.

8. Focus. The movie Nothing In Common. I had no idea advertising was even a thing - once I honed in on a career, my schooling direction fell in place.

9. Work Ethic - my colleagues. There are some that could Master Class this.

10. Tenacity. My boys. I’ve seen them face really big challenges and power through. If they can do it, I can do it.

11. Leadership. Former bosses at Ogilvy and American Express. They didn’t mince words, they explained the why and let me figure out the what. They had courage but humility at the same time.

12. Mindset. I read a lot of biographies, I admire people who are doing some really big things right now and who’ve powered through a lot and have held steadfast in a core set of principles that form a mindset that I share. When I start to doubt, I pull up their book/articles about them. Paula Wallace, the Founder and President of SCAD, Christopher Hitchens, Mary Wells Lawrence, Steve Jobs, Edith Wharton, Al Smith, Andre Agassi. They fuel me.

13. Perspective. My friends I’ve made in my DM’s over the last five years. Never saw that coming, but when I need to bounce an idea, see something through a different lens, they’re now on my speed dial.

There are a few others, of course. BUT I am not complete yet, and I’ve no idea where I will find the next parts that make my final whole.

But here’s an interesting thing of note - there’s not one mentor that I learned MY INDUSTRY from. Maybe that’s because even the industry you pursue, just like your life, is the sum of many parts that are ultimately up to you to put together. This is a helpful exercise to do because it lets you separate what you’re really seeking. Is it just some facts that may help you make a decision or power through a situation - like if you’re a young designer it may be: what should I be paying for this shirt? Have you ever been sued by this predatory lawyer? Is the sell through this Department store asking realistic? Did Saks pay you? Those aren’t mentors, but resources.

So try building your own Lego mentor. See what it tells you, for where you are now, and make sure when it’s speaking that you’re listening. Ok?

And to state what I think may be obvious, this Stack is in no way linked or affiliated with Lego. It’s just a super clear visual.

Do you now when to stop? It’s a loaded question, allow me to frame it so you can understand what I mean.

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In no particular order, reason number one:

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