It’s Easter morning, and my “remember” pic that popped up is this. Let me tell you about “this.” Every spring, my parents would come in town for a couple of weeks. They would tell my boys “we can do anything you want.”

There was a local outdoor furniture store in town, on a busy street, called “Patios.com”

And all my kids wanted to do with my parents was visit the store, and try out the lounges. This, this was life. The good life. And my parents obliged. No cost, minimal travel. And a willingness to maybe endure some strange glances and a confused store manager.

Fully content, my dad chilling with the boys on the side of a busy street in a lot filled with patio chairs for sale. This wasn’t something that occurred because they were shopping for chairs, this was the intent of the visit. Charlie looks annoyed here, but only because his grandmother is asking him to smile.

This is what happiness looks like. To me.

Back in 2018, when we had created a job description for head of marketing, a key “soft skill” I needed was someone who fit the bill of a “typical marketing guy.” The one who helps me formulate ideas, then enthusiastically embraces them, then operates in and outside the company networking, greasing palms, you know the type. But shortly after hiring Emeka as our head of marketing, I recognized right away a fellow introvert. In our interviews, I’d misread him as an extrovert; thinking he would complete my puzzle, be the one to do the social side I had found so painful. Instead, I found someone in a constant search for the why. Someone I could have meaningful back and forth conversations, not someone there simply as a backboard for me to hit ideas against. Or worse, simply a sponge to absorb what I say and then go implement. Emeka has a great bullshit sensor, the conversations forced me - admittedly sometimes uncomfortably, to be very honest with situations we were in so we could come up with ideas on how to find our way out.

I’m going to share an excerpt from Almost Reckless, where I talk about a singular moment that really helped shape Tibi’s course forward. And since I am Tibi, this is deeply personal. It was my own path I was building at the same time.

For any entrepreneurs out there, people building teams, the people you surround yourself come together often to form a whole.

Nothing in AI, no LinkedIn profiles can help you articulate how important it is that, in my case, the person you’re hiring has a deep sense of humor.

Or that, when you have an idea to create movie posters around your runway show, and you hire incredible models who JUST AREN’T WORKING because there is no synergy around them, that they’re willing to grab other team members and do it themselves. I remember this day, we’d paid a fortune for two models, only to put them off to the side and have Emeka and a few other team members become the campaign.

I’m sharing this with you all to say, whether it’s in our jobs, our personal lives - if we hold so tightly to the job description (and by now I use this as metaphor) we can often lose the bigger picture of what’s been put in front of us. I’m sure you’ve all been in situations where you’re focusing so hard on what isn’t that you simply don’t see what is. This is what I appreciate so much about being human. We’re all a work in progress. I could never have written the right job description for what I got from Emeka at the time. Sometimes you just don’t know what you need until it appears. It’s why I love things IRL, it’s why I don’t embrace WFH as the norm rather than the exception. It’s why I have faith that AI will play a role but not become the main character.

I also think it’s great when you have these nice surprises in life, that you can say them out loud. So I am.

Rip up the Fashion Industry’s shitty Playbook. Follow it and you’ll end up just like them. And here’s what I mean by that. Can you name one designer brand’s path that you want to emulate? I don’t mean how their stores look, or their designs, or their sales. I mean their path. Are they designing what they love, for people they deeply respect, and doing it facing challenges that some days are just tough as fuck but equally as rewarding when you sort through it. That last part is crazy important. Spending a day working with a team who is intent on solving a problem - with a mutual agreement on what success will look like -is fully different than days spent massaging numbers for investors, prepping for a meeting with a department store that is about to tell you “it’s just not working, and here’s the bill”, or being harassed by a merchandising team explaining that your pant’s are too big, your necklines too low and “the people” just want a fitted stretch jean.

So here are the facts as I see them:

Fact 1: Department Stores are Not For You.

Some of the loveliest people I’ve met in the industry were from the Department Stores (Lisa at Neimans, Trish at Nordstroms, Maria at Harrods). But they’re individuals and ultimately part of giant machine whose fundamental business practices are at odds with an independent designer. And at the end of the day, you’re selling to the giant conglomerate and not Lisa, Trish or Maria. Nothing personal, just facts. Everything you sell them is at consignment, even though you’d swear you’d made an outright sale. If you work with a department store, it has to be on your terms. I don’t mean getting up front payments - that is absolutely not going to happen - if it does you are a serious outlier and you can not plan for this as strategy. Here is an example of what our terms are and what I wish like hell they’d been from the beginning (I learned the hard way):

• You have to be in the store’s area which suits your brand. If they put you with un-aligned brands, then they are establishing your brand’s positioning. You’ll be fucked, I promise. You can not have a strategy to get your foot in the door and perform and then create your own terms. If you perform, you’ll actually give ammunition that you do belong with the brands they put you with. If you don’t, you’re out. See the delimma?

• You have to be the driver of what designs are selected. If you don’t show up as your brand, then your customer will never find you. You’ll attract different customers and eventually you’ll have no idea who you are. Imagine you have this great line up of full, or sculpted pants, but the buyer wants only the one really fitted one you designed because their customers want to look sexy. They want to buy only your more feminine tops, and that one slinky dress you put in that made sense in the bigger context but now with this carved out assortment your collection looks entirely different.

  Think of it this way: I can offer you an incredible French menu, but if you extract the meat, the brioche, and the tomato, you’ve just turned me in to a hamburger joint. The hamburger may be good, but it was not the intent of what you are creating. Do not allow someone to turn you in to fast food.

• Good news, there are some big stores that think small. The French stores are a good example of this - within Printemps 2nd floor we found our home and we have meaning for them. Same with I.T in China, That Concept Store in Dubai.

• If you do choose to work with one because they’ve agreed to your brand positioning, and you believe the exposure is worth it (maybe that’s a Bergdorf’s or a Selfridges that still have foot traffic) then ONLY SELL them what you can afford to lose. Literally, assume you won’t see a dollar back - think of it as an advertising expense. When you are calculating your losses, remember to factor in shipping, penalties for maybe a wrong hanger or label placement on a box, etc. When I was starting out, $10,000 to me was the equivalent of $300k to a mid size brand and $2mm a big brand. It’s all relative - so when seeking advice here it’s good to get it from someone who shares your lens.

Fact 2: Institutional knowledge is everything.

Do everything you can until you can’t. This allows you to make great decisions, sniff out bullshitters who are selling you what you don’t need, or charging you for what they shouldn’t. And importantly you know what you can push for - and the tradeoffs if you don’t get it - because you’ve done it yourself. You’ll become a great problem solver as a result and you’ll start to think you have an amazing gut sense for things when really you just have a solid base of knowledge from which to operate.

When I started, I designed, I worked with the patternmaker, sat at the factory, did the fittings, costed the items, priced the items, created the marketing, set up selling events, sold to the consumer, found trade shows, sold to the stores, visited the stores, received the product, shipped the product, took back the product if it sucked, defended the product when it didn’t suck but when someone else thought it did….all while simultaneously designing the next collection. It was me and my partner at the time, when she left it was me and an employee. What this DID is it allowed me to know, at least on a surface level, every area of the business. Each time I understood an area and the limitations of my knowledge and bandwidth, I could peel it off and give to someone else. Sales, for example. After 8 months I was ready to shed the responsibility. I finally understood what I needed:

• Someone with a rolodex

• Someone who knew the lingo (30 days vs. 60 days net, RTV, etc.)

• A good negotiator who would fight for our brand positioning

• Seriously strong work ethic

To find help, I went first to visit the big showrooms to have them rep my line. But, it didn’t sit right with me that they were repping lots of other lines. How would I get attention? They explained that they will get my foot in the door, they own the premiere Rolodex of relationships. But in my vision I could see one of their sales people showing a top to a store - when the store said they liked it, but prefer blue, the rep said “oh we have another designer doing blue. Follow me over here…” I could see quickly if I was here I would be just a blue top. Or worse, the black one the client didn’t want.

So I called some of the boutiques I had met, asked them for the name of a great salesperson - three stores mentioned the same woman - I called her and hired her. We worked out a salary heavily contingent on sales; we both had skin in the game. One of the best decisions I ever made.

The next best decision? Doing our own shipping. When I speak with young designers it’s one of the first things they say they’re doing but will they’re looking actively to hire a shipping company. I tell them STOP and do the math first. How much are they really shipping out? 3 orders a day? If sales double in 6 months will that be 6 a day? And in a year, if you’re now really rolling, you know how much a package costs to ship - in terms of time and money, how long returns take to process, etc. And like me, you may decide that it makes sense to just hire someone to do your shipping in a really scrappy way (that was my mom) so that you own the customer relationships, so you can ship out quickly when needed, you won’t be charged for sneezing. Hiring someone working from home, we were able to ship out $3mm in annual sales. That person getting a small space and hiring one more person, we could get to $7mm. Getting a 20,000 sqft warehouse in Georgia, hiring a manager and 6 of the most amazing team members ever, we ship out 10x that. And I know all the warehouse team’s names and they watch Love Island in the breakroom at lunch and fill us in on what’s happening between Cierra and Austin. Those are people not cities.

Fact 3: Sell only to customers that share your mindset.

You are reading this because you are small, independent and looking to be able to control your destiny. It’s important that you know your mindset, and work ONLY with those that share it. I don’t mean only those that love your interesting pants you’ve designed. I mean those who value the same things as you do. For example:

• Find customers who believe that small is good, that to be human is best. People who care about the “about” section, and want to support independent designers because all this individuality feels electric and the mega brands and sameness out there is depressing. By just being great, you’ll help them understand that COS is indeed H&M, that luxury materials are luxury because of the 80 year old Italian family business that wove them, that all good things take time and that humans make mistakes. Insist on being treated like a human but commit to doing the same for your customer. It’s a two way street.

• Explain yourself to your customers. Not only do you owe it to them, you owe it to yourself. The more you do it, you’ll sharpen what you stand for - and if you aren’t visibly clear about it, then others won’t be able to see you. Remember, facts are: you are up against giant Fast Fashion houses posing as smaller luxury brands, dupes posing as same for less. Let people know you are not a massive conglomerate that has carved out a tiny segment to appear as thoughtful while churning out the black smoke in the back. And remember, let them know it NOT by saying what I just said, but by just being human and deeply caring about your work.

Fact 4: There is no such thing as an expert - at least in Fashion.

Listening to an expert today is like assuming that Alexander Graham Bell is going to help you figure out why your iphone isn’t working.

Fact 5: Specialty stores have to make money too.

Sherri, Lance, Max, Wendi, Yasemin, Hank, Bo, Laurance - the owners of these stores are human- they have families, they’re invested in their brand just like you; they’re human. Treat them as business partners, do it well, and you’ll get the same in return. They need to be able to sell what you ship them - you have to ship on time, it has to fit consistently (as you’ve determined the fit to be - and it’s your job to be clear about that), you have to promote them. And trust me, that first line - ship on time - that’s a fucking beast right now - everything is being thrown at all of us. So if you’re going to be late, bust your ass to make sure you’re helping them sell. It’s a tough business, that’s the reality, but if you’re both working to a common cause it makes it bearable, and often really fun.

Fact 6: You have to visit the stores yourself - no dms, no emails.

Specialty stores tell me this all the time - they’re inundated with DM’s and emails from new designers. They say designers don’t even call any more, let alone walk in the store, visit, see what their store is about. You have to do this. It’s exhausting but I promise, you will learn so much, relationships matter, and you really can’t try and sell Kickpleat in Austin a satin turquiose stretch mini dress and if you visited her store you’d know why.

Fact 7: Eat only what you kill.

I started with 4 styles. Then 20. Then more. Design, make, sell, collect and then take the funds and do it again. Just a bit more. Each collection you’re learning, refining, and self funding. The businesses that succeed often did it because they had the luxury of a small purse. It forces you to actually sell what you make, figure shit out. If I’d been handed an investor check in year 2, there’s no way I’d have the company I have today: small by any standards in this industry, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Fact 8: Price to make money

You can not compete with fast fashion like COS and Massimo Dutti (or at least the companies who them). You can not compete on scale. And you’re not hiring Bella or Kendall to front your brand. What that means is:

• congrats, you’re authentic, and to a lot of people that means something. Own it and run with it. Explain that your fabric costs $30 a yard, the dress took 3 yards of fabric (thats $90 in fabric costs alone if you show the math), that the workmanship has French seams, wide seam allowances, etc. Prices are expensive enough based on the costs of workmanship and materials; thank goodness you’re not a brand that has to factor in a $2mm runway show and a Hadid campaign model - can you imagine how high you’d have to price your leather jacket with all that branding image spend? Being smaller and independent lets you keep the pricing tethered to the true value you are offering. That’s good.

Fact 10: It’s not fair, never was. Embrace it, this is where good things happen.

Go slow, and make sure that everything you are doing is creative and pragmatic. When you find yourself making decisions that are solely for pragmatic reasons, or creative just for the sake of creativity, STOP. Find the blend of both. Use this as your test for which direction your next step should be. Keep your head down long enough and you ‘ll look up to find you’ve landed in a place truly unique. Your own. And that may not measure up to other brands - but that’s not just ok, it’s exactly the point. Because by now you’ve created your own form of measurement. And this, this is how we’ve measured our success at Tibi. Which makes us wildly successful, according to our terms. Which since were human, at the end of the day, do anyone else’s terms really matter?

Fyi, if you’re interested, Almost Reckless details a lot of this journey with solid tips on how to ignore that algorithm and forge your own path. It’s a good read, promise.

They often took a similar skirt body and showed how it would be accessorized, lengthened or camouflaged as you progress through the years. I don’t blame everyone for having such a mindfuck when it comes to this subject. I blame them. But, alas, blame gets us nowhere - so here we focus on resetting our mind and moving on. Through a series of visuals I’ll show you how as images speak louder than words.

My urgency in writing about this, now, is that I’ve just returned from a trip to San Francisco working with one of my favorite people in the world, Sherri McMullen. We had around 60+ appointments, and if I had to guess the ages ranged from 30-60. And many of them, regardless of where they fell on this age scale, asked me for advice on how think about age appropriateness when getting dressed. And while on the surface, you may believe the idea means something different to everyone depending on their age, there was a clear thru-line when I drilled deeper to the real concern. At first in my probing, I thought I’d found it when “trends” kept being brought up in respect to age. “I don’t want to look like I’m trying to hard, to thirsty, a trend victim.” But if we flip that on its head, we get closer to the real issue, and I’ll summarize it here:

“as I get older, it’s important that I communicate that I know who I am. My personal style is a reflection of that. If one day I am a “mob wife,” an “Italian Maximalist” or a “Coastal Grandmother” then I will project, if to no one but myself, that I don’t know who I am. “

And this clicked and it also crystallized for me why I’ve been not just “meh” but actually annoyed at the Sex and the City’s / “And Just Like That” costuming. And that’s the key word, it became costuming, troping, rather than helping convey the story line, motivations, and a setting of context. A quick visual here, compare and contrast:

The early Carrie, she was given tremendous latitude to experiment. Her outfits conveyed she was deeply curious, opinionated, game for anything. And not ashamed to be figuring it all out, it’s part of life’s process. Each outfit communicated all of these things at once. But the “Now” Carrie became a bad copy of the former Carrie. A literal trope of what it looks like to have way to much funding to recreate exact replicas that never hit the mark. And they miss it because life moves on, the aim is not to recreate exactly what was but it’s in the thrill of figuring out how all that lived life plays in to who we are today. Our better understanding of how we show up as ourselves no matter the environment. Alas, that doesn’t mean a complete disregard to our surroundings. Carrie showing up to a farm to be with Aidan’s kids dressed in 5 inch platforms and satin no longer is about whimsy, it just seems weird she hasn’t figured out how to do “her” in varied situations that call for some - a bit- of understanding/recognition of the terrain/temp/vibe.

While I don’t pretend to have it all figured out, I do stand on far more solid ground than ever. Critical thinking, information, reflection - that will do that for you. Here’s a visual cue to the tropes, the films, the icons that I was too young to have on a Pinterest board but existed in torn out magazine pages or just simply in my memories when I was busy diving in to varied style personas:

It was a mashup, the Preppy Handbook, any John Hughes film, Flashdance, Ally McBeal short mini suits, Kate/Gwyneth/Carolyn, the Donna Karan pantsuit, Plum Sykes from Vogue, Carolyn Murphy and yes, even Carrie by way of the real SJP.

I tried hard for my own interpretations of this growing up. Any that were in my Flashdance /Footloose phase seem buried, and I’m not angry about that.

And so now here I find myself, my older self. And whether you can grab this from photos of me over the years, or in my imaginary younger year’s Pinterest board, the thru-line is there - I can see it in pictures of me now. Chill, Modern, Classic with a twist of humor (in the way of irony, ick, or quite literally).

And this is when you cut down to what it means to dressing your age: it’s about knowing and dressing your style. In other words, yourself. This next visual will help drill this point further. Here’s a recount of a conversation from McMullens:

Person: “You’re wearing the tie-dye jean. But you paired it with a navy sweater, so that it looks more age appropriate, right?”

Me: “no. I paired it with the navy sweater because it now looks like me. Darianne paired it with the striped shirt, I would do that too.”

Person: “But you wouldn’t wear it with a floppy hat and low cut shirt or lots of jewelry, that wouldn’t be age appropriate, right?”

Me: “no. It just wouldn’t be me. Stevie Nicks, she would do that. She’s quite a bit older than me. If you saw her in that, she’d just look like Stevie. At any age”.

Which brings us back full circle now to the original visual. I originally set out to try and “recreate” those visuals from those narrow minded articles about dressing your age. But as I was doing it I realized, I would wear all these things today - but the BIG difference is the where and how it would be styled. I wouldn’t wear the short skirt in my office, it would convey too much of an un-seriousness for me. At least if I was having a meeting that day. And my 20 year old self would have loved the full skirt. I even had an idea to just make the 70+ person ridiculously covered up - but I realized that’s a vibe too - for the right moment.

Now, you see the visuals through a different lens, right?

And we come back to the notion, it’s about dressing like yourself, the one that is tweaked for different environments, activities, or considerations like terrain or culture. Standing out whilst fitting in. Creative, yet pragmatic.

See?

Traci,

I…..am craving beauty and elegance, Capote’s Swans are on my mind…

But, that’s entirely impractical to my life…yet, all the same it’s there….

I….am seeking the (itch, uncomfortableness, doubt???) I feel when new ideas are forming, that friction that keeps me alert and alive….

But I need to feel grounded, change is happening around us warp speed, I need time to move just a bit slower, yet

I……want to explore new techniques, new technology….

But I crave to see the human in everything and I find I’m deeply skeptical of anything overly fantastical…at the same time,

I……know it is important to be thoughtful and concerned…

But yet I’m still human and need light and beauty to thrive and be content.

It’s through this discourse in my head and on paper that the creative direction for the collection starts to take root, come to life. It’s not about one idea winning out or diluting the conflicting thoughts to one sentiment that embraces all, but satisfies none. Rather, we work to find the commonalities within the thoughts and apply them to our creations in a way that is both creative and pragmatic, embracing seemingly contrasting ideas like grit and elegance all at once.

Ultimately it’s the combination of materials, design, and colors that will work together to convey exactly how we’re feeling – or how we want to feel. They’re deeply connected to one another. We traveled to Milan to find the fabrics that would help us express these sentiments, like textiles with unsettling textures or creases that convey loved and worn. Even splattering techniques that result in unpredictability from one style to the next. How boring to be so predictable. We discovered luxury cottons that may seem even a bit dirty at first glance - but when the wearer moves and light hits the expert weave, it projects richness and depth. Silky fabrications that appear delicate but are all together sturdy and made for the lives we live.

Sketching for Traci comes after combining references from vintage fishing hoops and, oddly, but not in hindsight, German artist Ursula Sax’s dance sculptures from Geometric Ballet. The ballet depicted a merging of sculpture, space, motion and music with each of the graphic shapes changing depending on the viewer’s perspective. The ballet was the literal embodiment of bringing together contrarian thoughts into something wholly new and inspiring. Using this as a jumping off point, Traci challenged herself to create a collection that would be experimental in concept but altogether wearable in execution.

While Traci obsesses on draping and tailoring, I work out my vision for color. I created a palate that would feel grounded and stable but still beautifully optimistic and modern. I don’t go looking for it, it often finds me. Movies are a common source of this, maybe just simply because I watch a lot of movies. The Brutalist grabbed me immediately. I end up having to watch a movie two times, first to focus solely on the film and the second time to absorb it and how the color worked together for context. This is where I have my iphone out snapping scene after scene. Ranges of green with luminous undertones of yellow, warm browns, opulent greys and tawny olives work with pinks, blues and vibrant lime in a way one can’t describe as “simply color contrasting”. Yes, mix soft blue with brown and you have happy and grounded. It’s an easy recipe, but not nearly as satisfying than when tones can read simple but are deeply complex and exactly right. That’s where the laborious task of dipping and redipping shades is all worth the outcome: distinct colors that work together to form something altogether new and whole.

We applied this same idea to styling the collection. The delicate sandal made sturdy and conceptual with an elongated asymmetrical welt. The hoops that seem at first glance impractical, but we know that to sit, walk and live in them tells a different story. Or the rounded curves of the sleeve of a refined jacket in luxurious Italian tailoring that feel right at home with a selvedge jean so sharply fitted you could believe the ease was simply accidental.

So here’s the thing about the collection. I love it, so does Traci, so does Sarah. Some pieces will hit you right away, and others may take their time warming their way in to your wardrobe. And that’s ok, we’re in no rush. You’ll find as you browse the new pieces that each one embodies the mood and thought I’ve described here. The concept of elegance is so enticing but the reality is there’s a tremendous amount of grit behind its execution. As is much in life, there is little great that is absent of strain.

And this is where we find contentment.

Tibi Spring 26

The year was 1998, I was interviewed by a NY fashion magazine, and they asked “you’re so bold to show color, how do you convince women to experiment?”

I was thrown by the question. I had recently moved from NYC to Hong Kong, Barneys was at the top of the retail pyramid, and Helmut Lang’s Spring ‘98 RTW collection had a pop of blue on 5 of his 95+ black and white looks. But I had grown up in the South, an island off the coast of Georgia, and wearing color was not only natural, but it was rude not to. Too much black meant you were rebelling. That’s not a bad thing, it’s just factual. Lot’s of black in New York City means you’re blending in. In Los Angeles, it may be someone’s way of saying “I just work here, but NYC is my home.” In London it’s chic, in the country side it’s a misstep.

By the time I had founded Tibi, I’d lived overseas, married an Eastern European, and had a sense of the role color plays in different environments. But I hadn’t yet given much thought to defined a BRAND. My first spring season in 1998 riffed on Hong Kong Lilly (as in Pulitzer), and it happened to coincide with Tom Ford’s Gucci collection that same year that leaned in to the same idea of loud prints, tacky, executed in classic styles.

My first collection launched in the throes of a color explosion trend on the runway. Designers historically grounded in neutrals and black were experimenting heavily. But for them, that was just it, experimentation. But for me, the timing made it such that this was to define my new brand. First impressions, if you will. And I spent a lot of time over the subsequent years fighting with color. I was handcuffed to these saturated shades on a color wheel. Stores and the press told me I was “their definitive color resource.” And to them, grey, navy, black and brown were not colors. They also eventually told me “I’m sorry, we can’t buy your brand right now, our customers just aren’t in to loud colors at the moment.” Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. At one point, I limited my collection to mostly blacks and darker neutrals - if people couldn’t get the point that I was not about bright colors, I’d go to extremes to make it, even if it required I loose a bit of myself along the way.

Decades later, when I created the concept of Creative Pragmatist, and the three adjectives to define my personal style, it was only then that I became comfortable with color. I began to understand how combinations come together to create wholly new and sometimes complex sensations. When I master complexity, I’m happiest. I love being able to explain my choices, if to no one but myself. I feel in control.

I designed a colorwheel that explains, in a highly intuitive way, how different colors work together to create different vibes. Now this is from my own personal pov, but I know that it has resonated with many. When I wear all black, the feeling is quite strong, and sometimes aggressive, depending. When I wear all the classic neutrals (2), I feel secure, smart, but sometimes a bit staid. If I’m head to toe in the ring 3 colors, those are the “ish” colors - they’re difficult to describe (red-ish, brown-ish), I feel very zen, maybe too zen. For me. And if I’m donning only ring 4, it’s quite loud and electrifying.

One ring only = one dimensional feeling, I’m lacking depth, I often crave more. It’s always that pursuit of chill, modern and classic all at once. A range of textures helps combat this feeling.

1+2: gives edge and strength but solidly reliable.

1+3: sharp but softened, so unexpected

1+4: bold (veering on harsh)

2+3: buttoned up but relaxed at the same time; balanced

2+4: preppy, and classic on overdrive (maybe too much for me)

3+4: bright and optimistic but chill, unexpected dimension

Once I realized this was simply the basis of how I dress, it became the foundation of how we approach color in each collection. It’s based on the mood we want to effect and I’m no longer afraid of being pigeonholed into being a brand so tightly defined by the same color story season after season. And that’s liberating.

Just like our city destination color guide, I’ve applied the same to some brands that you’re all familiar with. How to read? In brackets, the color ring that is the core of the brand. A number without brackets plays a big role in the collection. If the number is raised, then it plays a small role in the collection, and if there is an F next to the raised number it means the color is used as a high impact fashion statement.

If you’ve grappled with color, if you turn to a closet and feel you’ve “nothing to wear” when the sheer amount of items you own suggest otherwise, then look deeper to find the culprit. I find many bring in colors to help expand their choices, but alas, they are unwittingly limiting themselves by certain color ring combinations. Like 1+4 or 2+4. You may think five different colors from ring 4 are giving you range, but if you’re always combining them with ring 1, you’re simply compounding a vibe you already have covered.

See what your colors are telling you. Are you complicated and nuanced? Then the brands you love are probably giving you that range in their colors. Before you jump in and try a problem solve in your closet, make sure you have the problem identified first. Color is likely to be patient zero.

We go on to texture next, but that’s for another time.

1. Like much in life, we are two things at once and it’s all in the balance.

2. And knowing this, you can see how important your thru-line is. In life it’s our principles, in fashion it’s our personal style dna: the adjectives and the modifier.

Since visuals speak louder than words, I’ll let the visuals here talk.

Let’s take Fana for example, one of the stylists on our team. Fana’s looks go from super creative / with pragmatism (she still works, lives a life - she’s got shit to get done- it’s not an endless scroll of mirror selfies for her); to super pragmatic with her signature creativity. And on those dates, she may be reaching for just more control or focus. But the key word in the above is “signature”. That’s our modifier (chapter 9 in The Creative Pragmatist book available here). It’s what creates Fana’s through line, no matter how she’s feeling from one day to the next. It keeps her grounded, it makes her most creative days not so chaotic and it gives energy to her most pragmatic.

In this past week’s style class, here, we dubbed it a “style challenge”. The challengers: Sarah our head of branding who is super deft at c10 work, myself whose always running pros/cons, plus/minus balance in my head, and Traci our head of design whose North Star is a combination of utilitarian, Japanese, clever, luxury craftsmanship. We tasked ourselves with imbibing our new pieces from the Fundamentals collection with our style sensibility. Note: I didn’t say favorite pieces - I said new, as that would have been redundant - if it makes it in to Fundamentals, then it’s a fave).

We got the idea for the “challenger style class” when we were styling the new Fundamentals campaign. For this shoot, we wanted to show the range of the collection - communicate how hard it can flex when it wants to, but also how it’s the ultimate character actor able to take on the vibe of any day.

Traci, myself and Sarah each got a “model” to make in our core sensibility. It’s great when an idea comes about because of the range of the people involved rather than anything algorithm generated that is created with intellect but no intuition. It keeps it real, real is good.

You can see the videos at tibi.com - Derek did a great job here. But my screenshots are below to keep us moving down this rabbit hole:

And naturally, this got me thinking…..

The thing about the fundamentals of your closet is that their core job responsibility is to play the best supporting role ever, they help you convey a full robust story. Your story.

And so, you see, this popped in to my head…..

Maybe the Fundamentals, your WithOut Fails, are the Steve Buscemi of your closet?

Never diminished, always in character, but irreplaceable - you don’t just switch Steve out for a substitute because it’s not the lead role. Without him, the whole story doesn’t come together. And no matter the wide range of roles, he’s seen without taking over - his thruline is always present.

My closet Steve is named Liam. See?

Let me start here.

Present day: we started working on our Fall 26 collection last September (25). And a partner from Germany was at our studio and she mentioned that “one can never be a prophet in their own home town” - she used a beautiful French saying to communicate it. I wrote it down - there was something there that tugged hard. And ultimately, that thought turned in to a thread of a conversation that the marketing team and I pecked at - how you can never go back in time and capture a moment in its exactness. All of us know that feeling, when you’re so excited to return to a place, and then, alas, it never hits the same. Sometimes the place has completely changed. But more likely, you’ve changed. Ok, that story is to be continued, you’ll see it manifest itself in the Fall 26 runway.

My digress here was for a point. I love thinking about the past - not in regrets but in a way that helps me explain the present. History often repeats itself, but the reflection of it can change dramatically depending on the lens of the individual. That’s why I love the preservation of words and print. It helps jog my memory, separate facts from my sometimes revisioned history, connect the dots to now.

As I was looking back in my pics, googling my ‘16 runwayshows, I saw beautiful clothes, certainly the thruline of who we are as a brand today, and like any true reflection, some things I would have done differently if I’d had a full frontal business lobe.

But I also felt an unease. Not the good kind that is a healthy reminder that the gut is working and you’re forming something interesting. And I remembered why. There were two things happening in 2016:

1. My family was reeling in health crises. In the span of one month in early 2016, my mom, my dad, my son and myself had all been in the hospital with very serious challenges. One after another. The year is forever tainted in that way, for me.

2. My company (Tibi) had found a back door for building brand awareness. The fashion blogger/influencer.

Let us focus on #2.

We never had an official “influencer”. strategy. We were just creatively going about being pragmatic. We weren’t advertising in big fashion publications - not because they were out of favor, it just wasn’t financially tenable. And we weren’t pouring every resource into garnering the favor of the fashion editors - this was the heyday of the boys of American fashion: Wang, Lam, Lim, Gurung, Som, Wu, Thakoon- girls out; boys in. It was what it was. The wall around these editors was not porous.

And this approach, working with what we had and making it work, was working for us. In hindsight, I know why: it was the literal definition of authenticity. We were (still are) independent, scrappy and doing what we needed to do. This was paralleling with a group of individuals who were doing the same: the blogger/influencer. And the key word here? Individuals. These were real people, who were entrepreneurs in effect, I could talk to them, we could relate, we became friends. And before they were them, they were outsiders. And by outside, I mean outside of the fashion editor’s world.

So naturally, humans being human and all, they talk, they support each other, they can relate. And we had created a group of friends around us. Not paid sponsorships, endorsements. Just friends who talk business, a lot. In my sphere, it was Linda Tol, Leandra Medine, Olivia Palermo, Tamu McPherson, and Sherri McMullen.

And these bloggers and influencers were building real relationships with others. Doing their own thing.

And then the drama hit. The fashion brands had welcomed these people in to their doors. What they were doing was exciting and refreshing. But the old guard was not having it. This story “broke the internet” of its time.

Why do I bring this up? Because this was to impact us deeply. I’m showing you below my three main collections from 2016 and as I look at them, all I can remember is one thing: the tension, the malaise, at the fall shows was palpable.

People were walking around fashion week that year with all the energy of a funeral procession. Maybe the influencers were starting to overthink their instincts - the very instincts that had created a literal new way of showing and communicating fashion. Maybe doubt was setting in, concern that too much peacocking could risk their wings getting clipped? Maybe it was the fashion editors feeling deeply uncertain of their role in the future? Maybe it was me thinking that one of the best things that could have ever happened to us - an unsanctioned voice, a friend in the fashion world - was being taken away?

In the “social media” world of 2016, the fashion establishment drew a big line in the sand between “those who have a right to be there and those who earned the right to be there”. But luckily, people ultimately just recognized it for what it was. A line in the sand that with some smudging could be removed or just crossed over if you’re inclined.

So how do I look back on 2016? I may have felt the fissures a little heavier, given point #1 for the year. But regardless, or because of, this was the year that gave proof to my gut. I had proof of concept that taking stock of your circumstances, your strengths and weaknesses, and the reality of what is happening around you can set you on your own path. Also pausing long enough to think, if things are going really right, maybe we’re doing the right thing regardless of what others think or have always believed. I think a lot of these influencers at the time saw it too. Because as I look at that group above, all of them have stayed wildly successful - by how they define it. And none of them define it the same as the other. Yes, they may have all started out with similarities of approach, but each, with heads down, hard work and curiosity have carved out wildly different paths.

Industry rules, the safety guardrails of a large company, the comfort of an algorithm when you’ve simply no other data to rely on - these are there so people and companies can comfortably predict what is next. But the ones who do really interesting shit are highly unpredictable. So you can see how these two concepts are at odd. And therefore, the key takeaway of 2016? Stay human.

Follow me down this rabbit hole please……

“The third-rate mind is only happy when it’s thinking with the majority. A second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. A first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking.” - A.A. Milne

Quotes become quotable because they succinctly communicate a quite complicated concept. When a quote hits, you find yourself nodding as you read it, muttering yessssss even when no one’s around. And “hit” really happens when it eloquently verbalizes something you know, that’s so logical any reasonable person can agree with it, but at the same time isn’t playing out in reality.

I think about this a lot, as I communicate with a range of individuals: budding entrepreneurs, the newly graduated, the recently retired who all share a common thread. Many people feel they are in a stalemate, unsure of what action to take. Trapped in the guardrails of consensus, what should be happening in their (industry, career, life) so ingrained and at the same time so irrelevant to the here and now. And if not irrelevant to the time we are in, then to the unique situation of the individual making their way through them.

I’ve worked through this myself as the founder of what’s now America’s longest standing independent designer brand, Tibi. But even more importantly, as it has much broader implications, I’ve worked through this with so many now through the most circuitous of routes: finding your personal style.

Odd right? What started years ago as a conversation about style moved to a place I couldn’t have foreseen but that, in hindsight, was entirely logical if not predictable. Turns out that engaging in discourse around the principles of style rather than the rules of style turned in to……. so. much. more. Let me explain.

In the dressing room, in the daily choices people were making around what to wear, they were strengthening their critical thinking muscle. They weren’t debunking fashion rules for the sake of debunking them. They were asking why they existed in the first place and evaluating whether it still, or ever did, apply to them.

And they found that like anything, it’s impossible to evaluate something if you’ve nothing to evaluate it against. That’s where things started to get really good. Introspection was required. Being able to describe oneself was an important first step and has to be done to understand the types of clothes one should be wearing to visually communicate who you are. When your visuals are at odds with who you are, it’s unsettling. Not bad clothes but a poor choice of words to describe yourself, as it were. Ultimately, people began building an internal measuring stick by which to decide which items of clothing, or how something is styled, is right or wrong for them.

Naturally, they began triangulating their desire for what to wear with their held beliefs (sometimes just what they’ve been told) and with who they are as individuals. And bonus, this process also helped cement the notion that what’s right for one isn’t (necessarily) right for someone else. How could it be? We’re different individuals, but thinking ones, all the same.

Most view critical thinking as something you employ at work, or when making big decisions like investing in a home. But now in the closet, or considering a purchase, you’re doing it every day, like a regimented exercise routine. And with this strengthened skill set, you feel moored. Secure. Like no matter which way the wind blows you are anchored and won’t blow off course.

Everyday I’m surrounded on my subway, in the news and in my dms with people who are struggling with understanding which way is up. And this all checks, because if you’ve no sense of compass, it’s admittedly impossible to know.

I have proof of concept that what we’ve been doing here, first by accident and then by intent, works and that it’s inspiring us to do bigger things in our lives: at work, at home, in our relationships. It’s pushing us to take risks that, to anyone else, may seem reckless. But we know better, because we know ourselves.

The so-what of this?

Almost Reckless, the book, will help you or inspire you to find your compass. I think.

Would love if you consider preordering here: In the U.S. Or in the U.K and Europe. Many, many, many thanks in advance.

.

So no judgement here with what I’m going to share. This simply “is what it is”, to me. If you feel the same, you feel the same. If you don’t, you don’t. And if you were on the fence, you now have more perspective - or intelligence - depending on how y…

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So how to have range in our closet, express ourselves through myriad colors, and still retain our through line? In other words, how do we make sure we look like “ourselves.” The answer’s not complicated, but it does mean letting go of some singular ways of thinking about what color represents. Through the ages, magazines and books on style, have labeled style through either/ors. If you wear colors in ring Ring 1/2, you are an urban minimalist, Ring 3? That’s for the zen masters, yoga matt in tow. And Ring 4, you are fun and girly or the exuberant socialite.

The source of frustration in your closet, or when shopping, has not been driven by lack of choice. Rather, it’s been a bit of a mind fuck undoing what you’ve learned, understanding who you are, and how to articulate that visually through your personal style. You know that being “boxed” into certain tropes is incredibly frustrating, it handicaps creativity and your ability to express yourself without being labeled as chaotic and all over the place (even if it’s just you doing the labeling).

The friction I had experienced in knowing that I crave the stability of classic neutral colors (1/2’s), and the softness of those hard to define ones (3’s) and the excitement of the (4’s) was frustrating. I rejected the notion that I had to pick a lane and stay in it, but at the same time, I often found myself veering in to head on traffic with some of my choices. Not because they were “wrong” visually. By any objective standard, the “outfits” I put together were good. But they didn’t feel right because I simply did not feel like me when wearing them. It wasn’t until a few years ago I started thinking critically about style and that freed me to question question the accepted truisms, debate the logic and evaluate what made sense for me in the context of being a Creative Pragmatist. I suppose it’s why when I created the color wheel (P. 136 in The Creative Pragmatist Book was literally a wheel. Meant to be spun around, moving from ring to ring, with no clear path of right or wrong but simply to help give an understanding of what the different combinations will yield.

Understanding the role color can play to help you lean in to the way you feel can help you think more critically about what you are feeling and how you want to communicate that through your style. When you understand your intent, and are able to convey it visually, it gives you a sense of calm, the calm that comes when you are quite sure of yourself.

Rather than fall for the tropes, the hardcore minimalist, the zenmaster, the extremist, just try mixing up the rings a bit more - adding an “y, light, or an ish” to anything that becomes too one dimensional.

I’m going to give examples of how mixing different rings on the wheel yields different results. I’ll start simple here, showing how one jacket in a ring 3 color can take on different vibes depending on the combination of rings.

I’ll break down the range of emotions I’ve drawn above:

A: Confident and creative. Maybe this is a more casual day in the office. The heel and the jacket has you squarely put together, mixing the ring 3 colored tee feels thoughtful but not over wrought, and the pink sweater makes you feel a bit happy. The ring 4 sweater balanced with the ring 3 and 2 colors, gives that pink sweater a bit of sophistication.

B: Comfortable but refined. You’re boarding the plane. The white tee keeps everything sharp, casual but put together. The high contrast between the blazer, the tee and the knit has you feeling focused - when you’ve got a long flight ahead, you want to somehow feel fresh and crisp but not strictly confined or overly fashioned out.

C: Weekend effortless but with style. Just hanging, running errands, put together but the literal definition of chillful haphazardnous that all of these ring 2’s piled on convey. That sort of “I just got dressed with the lights off and this all came together” ease.

The illusive Ring 3 is often the glue that pulls together a closet by creating a through line between the rings on the wheel. The daft mixture of Ring 3 allows someone who is arguably chill, modern and classic to retain their sense of personal style whilst mixing in bright colors, strong bold tights, and just creative experimentation.

A: The muted but defined color of the draped shirt softens the bright mint sweater and is simply the non-obvious choice that gives an outfit depth.

B: The hard to define sweater color tempers a blazing set of beads, lending sophistication and the good but not jarring contrast to the rich dark neutrals.

C: The bold red sock is balanced out when mixed with the cementy-grey-tannish-brown. Of course we would love the red sock with a navy skirt and sweater too- but you can envision that that would create an entirely different vibe. Not a wrong or right vibe, just a different one.

Here’s a cheat to know if a color is a Ring 3-er. They’re hard to say in one word. We debate them with friends - is it really brown? More red maybe? Possibly a bit purply??? Ring 2 colors can usually be pinpointed straight away: navy. White. Khaki. Grey. Same with the brights or pastels of Ring 4. Fuschia. Lime. Mint. Turquoise. The Ring 3-er’s trip up the tongue a bit.

I know from speaking with so many of you know that many issues with building your personal style emanate from the colors in the closet. Most people have a closet weighted down by either Ring 1/2’s or Ring 4’s. In an effort to expand, balance the scale, they bring in the color ring at the opposite of the spectrum. The thinking being they’ll “brighten” up all the darks and neturals in the closet by adding Ring 4’s and vice versa.

But when you add in the Ring 3 colors, it becomes the glue that brings all the colors together opening up a new range of vibes.

A: The soft purply grey wool jersey lightens up and adds dimension to a a full ring 2 Navy suit.

B: An effortless jersey polo dress gets toughened up and made emphatically urban by mixing in the strength of Ring 2 neutrals and quirky Ring 4 brights.

C: All the bright clothing you’ve invested in have new life and wearability beyond when you’re feeling for something simply happy and creative. Ring 3 settles those colors down extending the wearing options immensely.

Keep the colorwheel near the closet, it will help keep you on point. Practice makes perfect. Which is actually something I don’t believe in. I’ll reword this to say: practice gives you confidence to plow forth and make mistakes and not care because it’s how you experiment and learn and often find they weren’t mistakes afterall. See?

I talk so much here about personal style - connecting your visuals with who you are on the inside. When the connection isn’t there, you can feel unstable - that’s my experience, anyways. But the process of unpacking it all, d…

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If I was going to a meeting I’d pin up the longest ribbon so it doesn’t confuse my head where I’m going. I’d go for ring 1+2’s from the Tibi colorwheel. I’d throw on brogues to double down on the meeting vibe, I’d tie a sweater at my waist to give ease,…

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First, let me start by saying that “big” is relative. But then again, everything in life is. And big is not always better. If you’ve ever had the opportunity to dine on roast chicken in France, you now this to be tru…

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I want to share a story with you. It is starting to feel very familiar to me, but it doesn’t get old because each time it makes me think. And it makes me so very grateful for the direction life has taken me here, as the Founder and Creative Director of Tibi.

On my last night in Paris, my son and I were sitting at a small table for two at our favorite restaurant L’as Du Fallafel. We were in the back, the original side of the restaurant, centered in the middle. A woman sat alone at the table directly to my left, dressed in a burgundy-ish fleece pullover, wearing jeans I think, and a very functional shoe for walking. She made eye contact, we did as well, but we were exhausted after ten days of traveling between London and Paris Fashion Week. I just wanted to eat my falafel.

“Do you come here often?” She asked. “Yes.” I replied, reverting my eyes back to the sticky menu.

“This is my first time, do you live in Paris? “No” I replied, as I looked to the waiter and told him I would have the special falafel sandwich in an accent courtesy of Duolingo and which no one in Paris recognizes as anything resembling French.

She persisted the conversation, and I and my son are better for it. She told us she was visiting from Colorado and had moved to the U.S. only 10 years ago from Iraq. Her father fought in the Iraqi army, and this was the first time she had been to Paris. She had always heard about the Marais and she wanted to explore the area, her religious roots, and experience true Paris. She explained that she is a doctor and that many people in Colorado ask her the same questions that I immediately did, about her experiences in Iraq and how she grapples with her feelings towards her new country. She told me wherever she goes, the reality is she meets people, often really good people and that is where she focuses and takes console.

She asked “what do you do for a living?”

I told her I have a clothing brand, called Tibi, that I started over 27 years ago and that we show the collection to our global stores each season in Paris.

She asked me “what is the philosophy behind my designs?”

Hmm… that’s not the usual question I get from an individual - the press yes, people not so much. I answered:

“I think it’s incredibly important that your visual style match who you are on the inside. And that when those two are opposed to each other, it creates angst and conflict. It is often the source of tension and when people realize where it’s coming from, and they learn they can rectify that, it is consoling, and I hope my clothing and what we do every day helps people.”

And she started crying.

This woman who was a complete stranger moments ago was crying because of what I said and so we hugged. She said this hit so hard, that she had not been able to express who she was in Colorado, and that being here in Paris reminded her that this was a part of her, and that she needed to not be dressed like someone else. She said she had gone to an H&M earlier that day in an attempt to find herself but left overwhelmed and disheartened. She said that growing up, her mother and sister loved fashion so much, they were so chic but that she had somehow been conditioned to think it so superficial. She needed to hear that it was ok, that looking like yourself is intrinsically connected to feeling like yourself and being able to express who you are to others just simply, well, it makes sense that that’s important.

She offered to share her mint lemonade with me, we talked more and we left. I hope she DM’s me and I hope I have not revealed too much here about her identity and breached an unspoken trust.

I think about this exchange and how important this and similar moments have become. As an introvert, the industry I signed up for always left me feeling a bit sick even though it may appear to some I’m enjoying skating the surface in a superficial conversation about whether Slimane will go to Chanel (I don’t care) or whether Bohemian will be a raging trend (I super don’t care). My reality is, I prefer these real and personal conversations every time, and prior to 2020, they were far and few between. Of course I would meet people with whom exuded a realness and I could talk for hours. And likely many of those who I found unbearable in my industry are perhaps assuming the same as me, and we skate on the surface thinking that neither has interest in diving below.

No matter, I know that when my son witnesses these conversations as he has so often now- with random individuals or customers - that he is filled with a sense of purpose that I could never realize in my first two decades of business.

I love what I do now, and I see it amongst our team as well. Now is different. I’m so glad to have one toe in my industry, and the rest of my body fully planted in this other, far meaningful, world.

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8am - arrive to office. Sarah and Traci are officers now - directing the team making the models boards, bagging up the looks, briefing the dressers. I stay out of t…

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10:30 makeup test with Bobbi Brown. Sarah briefs the team “natural, lean in on one feature to play up, make it real.” And Cassandra the head artist says “ok, the usual.”

1pm: lunch is potato chips spicy Kobe be…

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10am: model fittings begin. We just lost another model. Miscommunication. I find over and over that when I work with people who speak another language, we communicate better. Extra time …

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